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Tuesday, 4 March 2014


Hahaha, I bet you read the title thinking that this was about the worst title for a post. True? Probably. Well, let me tell you. I might seem strong on the outside, please read my posts about breakdown later but I do get a little emotional over somethings. Yes.

One of those things is life. Weird? Let me explain. There's a time, every now and then when I think about why we are here, what is our goal, how exactly did we get here, how it will be like in another 200 years when I'm not here, how it was, what exists beyond this? Confusing. It might seem there is a lot of information that we know but there's more we don't know. So whenever I am doing math, for example, something new is taught and I'm not understanding I have this weird moment when I feel like it's really important that I learn this, but then I'm like, what about the bigger things? Then I realize I'm a tiny little speck. Me getting a nice grade on the next project isn't that big of a deal compared to what's happening in the world.

All this thinking confuses me. I have to make this humanities project have an excellent grade and it matters to me but then I think, what about all those uneducated girl in this world? What about those bigger things? My little desires are tiny. But they matter. To me. I guess the only way to make a big difference is do little things. The only way I will be able to understand what my place is in this world.

But then I realize, what happens after I'm done helping? Do I die? If I'm going to die, what's the point of living? What happens after death? Why do we even die? Will anyone miss me? UGH. Even thinking about these unknown things makes me itchy. I'm a person who wants definite answers, I want to see the path, I guess, sometimes it's not that clear.

The path is never clear. I know I just said the exact opposite but this is the truth. We will never know. It bothers me. Yes, it does. I suppose that I shouldn't think so much about what's going to happen, not what happened, but what is happening.

"Tomorrow way to far away, and we can't get back yesterday, but we young right now, we got right now, so get up right now, cause all we got is right now" ~Rihanna 


  1. So many questions right? Isn't it exciting? This is why I love MS. It is the first time most "children" begin to see life beyond their own experience and begin to ask many of the questions you have asked.

    The best part it, there are so many answers and you have your whole life to figure them out! And maybe even a second or after life.....who knows.

  2. Yes, I feel like there are so many things that I don't know. This makes me very annoyed, curious and excited at the same time. I still remember when I was a little kid, getting the tiniest things meant the biggest things. Now, I see things that are so much bigger. I guess this is the reason why people find middle school hard. Life smack dabs you in the face.

    I have my life to figure things out, but I also know that everything won't be answered. I live with the motive of creating the path when I need to because the path will never go straight.